Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Love….Oh, l’amour, l’amour! Love is one of those things that changes your life, defies definition, and makes you do silly things sometimes.
I love, and when I do, I think sometimes it can be a little overwhelming for the object of my affections. For example, there was one poor kid that I stalked from the moment he entered my world in 5th grade until we graduated. That poor kid got more stuffed animals and loaves of banana bread than I can count. Alas.
Once I found the real thing, and it got away from me. Real heartbreak sucks, but is a good instructor. When the real thing showed up again, I recognized it. I could write a whole book about love and marriage, but there are some basic blessings that I will share here.
Acceptance – Real love accepts you where you are. Real love when you’re young allows you to grow up together and learn how to deal with adversity as a team, accepting each other’s strengths and weaknesses and learning to complement them.
Teamwork – The best times we had were when we were poor and had to work together to survive. We leaned on each other, which strengthened us. We leaned on our Heavenly Father, which strengthened us exponentially.
Temptation – Some can fight it, some can’t. Not all marriages and people are equal in this respect. Temptation can rip a marriage apart if you let it in, and it sneaks in when things seem to be going well. Don’t become complacent because your temporal life is going well and let your spiritual life wane.
Healing – When life is torn apart, it is the Love of God, not the love of a person, which will heal you. Dig in. READ YOUR SCRIPTURES. Get on your knees. Allow the people around you to support you. When you come out on the other side you will be different.
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.“
Proverbs 31:11
Someday, if you end up on the other side of a broken relationship, you may be blessed to find love again. My particular blessing in that regard has been to find the opportunity to rekindle that first real love. We have this second chance at life together, the blessing of mature love and partnership, shared dreams and goals. We see strange coincidences that make us go “hmmmm…..” and have a willingness to work and talk through challenges together.
The challenges we both faced in our previous marriages have taught us not to take each other for granted. We have learned to listen, which is huge. The challenges we have both faced in our work life have given us a mutual understanding of each other, and the ability to reach out to others that are facing the same issues. We work together and play together, and fight together against the things that try to pull us apart.
I’m not saying it’s all sunshine and roses, sometimes it’s grit with grace and down in the trenches; but we fight together instead of fighting each other, and that makes SUCH a difference.
How do you and your partner fight? Do you battle it out with each other, or do you fight back-to-back, defending each other and building each other up? I’ve learned the hard way that it’s so much better to build my husband up than to tear him down. He is the one I fight FOR, and that makes all the difference.
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